Strongarm'n Yo' F'n Yelloz Pages

Clean Yo' Stank Ass Kitchen, You Biatches!

There are many safe ways to clean your oven, microwave, refrigerator and coffee machine! You do not need to buy special cleaning supplies for each appliance like the cleaning aisle at your grocery store leads you to believe. Here are some better and safer ways to keep that stuff sparkling clean:

Microwaves
Mix 1/2 of water with a few teaspoons of baking soda in a microwave safe bowl. Put the bowl in the microwave and run it for 2 minutes. Take out the bowl and wipe it clean with just a rag; every last spot will come out!

Ovens
You can rub the inside of your oven with wet steel wool to remove the tough stuff, and then sprinkle baking soda throughout the oven. Let it sit for a few minutes, then just wipe it all clean with a wet rag…all done and no caustic chemicals!

Coffee Makers
When the coffee maker is empty, pour in a mixture of 1 cup white vinegar and some hot water to fill up the reservoir to the top. Run the coffee maker like you were making coffee, just without any beans in it. Once the cycle has finished, run it twice more with just plain water, which will rinse out the vinegar and any build up left inside. The coffee will taste better the next time you make a cuppa Joe!

Refrigerators
Baking soda all the way…why would you want to spray chemicals in the giant box that holds your food! Make a nice paste from baking soda and water (equal parts of both) and scrub away. Wipe down with a clean cloth and all will be clean!

Worldwide Top 10 Strangest Sex Laws

Damn, I thought some laws in the US of A regarding sex were a little strange, look at some of the whack-ass shit other countries do! No wonder people will do anything to get here! Sing it loud, sing it proud, "I'm Proud to be an American! da da da la la la ... etc."

1. Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following Islamic law:
   "After having sexual relations with a lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh." WTF!
2. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. WTF!
3. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. WEIRD!
4. Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. EH, OK.
5. The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. WTF!
6. There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. Where Do I Sign Up?
7. In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. (The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.) Hmmm ...
8. In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens her mother must be in the room to witness the act. Some pornos start this way.
9. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. Uh, ya' lost me there ... is it his daughter too?
10. In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for on the premises." SO? Weak.

Save Cash on Gas!

1. Keep your tank full to prevent water build-up-To get the best mileage, keep you fuel tank full. On cold nights, moisture can condense in the air inside a half-full tank and drip into the fuel. If your tank is 95% full, there is almost no air left inside to sweat out moisture that can foul up your fuel.
2. Drive the extra mile for cheaper gas-As a general rule, it pays to drive five miles extra to save a dime a gallon on your gas. Nearly all gas stations along freeways and highly traveled streets will charge more than other, less obviously located stations. Also, the oil industry redlines different neighborhoods using a system of price zones. UCAN has worked hard to make “zone pricing” illegal, but it still persists. To learn if you live in a high-price zone, check the prices in your area at our price tracking site, Fueltracker.
3. Get on the inside lane and stay there-If you’ve seen Days of Thunder or the Nascar circuit, you know the key to winning is getting on the rail and staying there, partly because it is a shorter distance around the track than the outside lane. Wandering across lanes costs you as much as 1.5 MPG.
4. Idling wastes precious gas-Idling for long periods will absolutely shoot down your good MPG figure. If you’re going to be idling for more than a minute, you’ll save gas by shutting your engine off and then restarting when it’s time to move.
5. Open windows are a drag-Your car was designed and tested in a wind tunnel to zip through the air with the least amount of drag. It’s tested with the windows closed. When you open them, it causes burbling and can significantly reduce your MPG. When you’re on the freeway, it’s cheaper to keep the AC on with the windows closed.
6. Increase tire pressure by four pounds-Look in you owner’s manual or below the door-catch on the driver’s side door for the correct tire pressure for your vehicle and try increasing it by four pounds. Drive your usual routes for two weeks. Check the tires every three days to keep the pressure constant. Now check your mileage. It should be much better. Yes-your ride will feel a little “firmer,” bumps will hit a little harder, but for the added mileage, it’s worth it. And no, the added pressure won’t hurt the tire. It may even help since it won’t “squish” as much when it hits the pavement and carries the load. If you can get three more MPG, that’s 60 extra miles on a 20-gallon gas tank.
7. Keep track of maintenance-You’ll never really know how well you’re doing in the fight for better gas mileage without keeping good records on you car. Start with a gallons and miles log. Fill up your tank; then keep a notebook with the number of gallons to the tenth, the price, and your current odometer reading. On the next fill up, write down the same items and figure your MPG. Similarly, track your tire maintenance by recording when you bought them, what wheel they go on, how long they last, what repairs, when you rotate them, and at the end, how many miles each tire gets when it is replaced. Last, keep records on your engine, wheel bearings, and drive train. Your engine chart should show when the last service was, when you had your last tune up, your wheel bearings lubed, oil and oil filter changed, battery checked, brake fluid, checked, and radiator, cleaned and flushed.
8. Check oil weight-Do you still use 30-weight oil in you car? Ask your mechanic the next time you have an oil change. Straight 30-weight will cost you. We recommend using 5-30 or 5-40 depending on how hot the summers are where you live. It should stay in your car year-round. The oil acts as if it’s 40-weight when the weather is hot, getting enough to lube the vital parts without thinning out in the heat. When it’s cold, the 5-weight end of the oil works well by letting you start your engine easily and still lube it.
9. Brakes shouldn’t be a drag-Dragging brakes can kill good gas mileage. Often only one is dragging. Test you car by driving down a level road without a crown. Hold the steering wheel loosely. Does the car start moving gradually to one side or the other? If so, the brake may be set too tight on that side and it’s dragging, slowing down the wheel and moving your car that direction. Check your front brakes. Are both wheels freewheeling? Do this on an oil rack. If one is dragging, have a mechanic loosen it up.
10. The cost of staying cool -Your air conditioner costs you money and drains as much as 30 horsepower from you engine on a hot day…but it’s better than having a heat stroke. Most air conditioners cost you about 3 MPG when running. So on a long hot drive your MPG will be lower.
11. Running on Fumes: The Emergency Long-Range Mileage Plan-Imagine you are crossing the desert and the gas gauge is reading “E.” You must travel 60 miles to get to the next station and you know that you only have about a gallon in your tank. Can you make it? Possibly, but you’ll need to use our Plan. Here’s how it works:

• Start your car and slowly accelerate to 20 mph.
• Turn off your engine, shift into neutral and coast as far as you can until you stop.
• Repeat the two previous steps.
• Hills can be a problem. The trick is to power up them, then gently coast down at idle on the other side. Note: On most cars, the steering wheel will lock when you turn the key to shut off the engine. Turn it off to kill the engine, and then turn the key on again so you can steer again. Good luck.

Cat Facts

I miss my kitties. (These are not my kitties.)

1. 21% of dogs and 7% of cats snore.
2. A cat uses its whiskers to determine if a space is too small to squeeze through.
3. The average house cat spends approximately 10,950 hours purring in a lifetime.
4. A cat can live twenty or more years.
5. Most cats have no eyelashes.
6. Cat's fur easily becomes charged with electricity and sparks can be seen if their fur is rubbed in the dark.
7. Cats purr at 26 cycles per second, the same as an idling diesel engine.
8. A cat cannot see directly under its nose.
9. A cat keeps purring, no matter if it is inhaling or exhaling.
10. Cats have five toes on each front paw, but only four toes on each back paw.
11. A cat's arching back is part of a complex body language system.
12. The cat was domesticated over 4,000 years ago.
13. All cats are members of the family Felidea
14. A house cat spends 70% of its time sleeping.
15. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
16. There is no single cat called the panther. The name is commonly applied to the leopard, puma and the jaguar.
17. Cats have true fur, in that they have both an undercoat and an outer coat.
18. The cat was the symbol of liberty in ancient Rome.
19. Cats do not think that they are little people. They think that we are big cats.

Vaginal Euphemisms

Here are some words and phrases that people (mostly guys) will use when referring to the vagina. Print this for your records, or your next cocktail party :)

cockpit, snooch, kitty kat, poody tat, grassy knoll, cold cut combo, Jewel box, rosebud, curly curtains, furry furnace, slop hole, velcro love triangle, nether lips, where Uncle's doodle goes, altar of love, cupid's cupboard, bird's nest, bucket, cock-chafer, love glove, serpent socket, spunk-pot, hairy doughnut, fun hatch, spasm chasm, red lane, stinky speedway, bacon hole, belly entrance, nookie, sugar basin, sweet briar, breakfast of champions, wookie, fish mitten, fark pocket, hump hole, pink circle, silk igloo, scrambled eggs between the legs, black oak, Republic of Labia, juice box, Golden Palace, fetus flaps, skins, sausage wallet. Holiest of Holies, sugar hole, The Death of Adam, home plate,Deer Hoof, Golden Arches, Cats Paw, Mule Nose, Yo Yo Smuggler, Mumbler (Aussie), Dinner Roll, Crotch Waffle, Piss Fenders, crack, Melvin, Dove Breast, Brakepads, Vedgie, Slurpy, Vacuum Vulva, Pastrami Flaps, Hot Tamaki Walk, Buffalo Gums, Rooster Jaws, Wagon Ruts, Beaver Teeth, Mumble Pants (Sweden), Ninja Boot, Marcia (Aussie), Skin Canoe, Fatty, Mossy Jaw, The Big W, Chia Hole, Lip Jeans, Beetle Hood, Hungry Minge, Sausage Wallet, Front Bottom, Welly Top, Frum, Pancake Fold, Tongue Roll, Bologna Flap-Over, Furrogi (Poland), Fortune Nookie (China), Bearded Taco, Calamari Cockring, Displabia, Slot Pocket, Bluntfrunt, Fishamjig, Pole Magnet, Pocket Pie, Clamarama, kitty cage, Chicken's tongue, Conch shell, Crack of heaven, Dog's mouth, Door of life, Fly catcher, Fruit cup, Jelly roll, Lobster pot, bunny tuft, KNISH,her asshole neighbor, lotus, nappy dugout, moneymaker, womens weapon, tackle box, bone hider, red sea, pizzo, JIZZ RECEPTICLE, The Helmut Hide-A-Way, hairy heaven, furry 8 ball rack, crave cave, arbys with fur, fish canyon, toolshed, snake charmer, Furby, Enchilada of love, Ham sandwich, Camarillo brillo, Brazilian caterpillar, dick rack, boy in the canoe, flesh tuxedo, Mound of Venus, queef quarters, Venus butterfly, cooter, cream canal, poontang pie, wet mark, private area, thresher, punash, salami garage, tunnel of love, slurpee machine, pink cookie, penalty box, ground zero, meat crease, bait, birth canal, holy grail, pole hole, pork pie, fuzz bucket, one-eyed python trail, bubble gum by the bum, stink rink, theme park, saloon doors, pink truffle, bitter & twisted, burger bar, meat counter, temperamental ringpiece, python syphon, big bud, the Wombsday Book, the condo downstate, snake lake, the indoor barbecue, pound cake, beef tomato, tickled pink, launch pad, horn of plenty, the indoor picnic, hamper of goodies, flapped bap, bonefish, close encounter with the turd kind, sperm bank, man's charity bash, bush tucker, midnight dip, the one-door vulva, the welcome opponent, the Twatlantic Ocean, temporary lodgings, field of dreams, bean, cooze, old catchers mitt, devil's hole, lucy, pish buffet, pooswaa, poonaner, davey jones locker, pink panther, tinker bell, south mouth, dick eater, wonder bread, wolly bolly, foxhole, hot pocket, head catcher, Lawrence of A Labia, silk funnel, dick driver, purple people penis eater, meat curtains, ponchita, cherry pop tart, fat rabbit, scoont, pee jaws, mingus, The Notorious V.A.G.,stench trench, poon jab, nappy dugout, babyoven, penis parking, cooter muffin, the promised land, cock pocket, cha cha, the shrine, biatch ditch, fury pink mink, mammal hole, ever-lasting cum stopper, the toothless blow job, happy flappy, wilt chamberlian's daily glove, the code defierthe salt water taffy factory, mommy's pie, the easy bake oven, the deflower patch, the virginator, the schlong sucker, the dea bone patch, the vegitarian's temptation, the vegan store, the blow hole, the pump protector, bag pipe, Spitball Bullseye, meat wagon, pickle stinker, jezebel's smell, yoni, willys haven, scrumpter, peach, sweat box, yeast pocket, penis warmer, tampon tunnel, penis pothole, cucumber canal, egg drop Box, sperm shack, dick dungeon, cock curator, b.o.b.'s bungalow, mommy parts, tuna pot pie, nice slice, peter vise, cock sock, rack of clam, peters grove, penis purse, grandest canyon, fish dish, banana box, tuna spread, pink portal,count fapula, red river gorge, happy valley, revolving in/out door, baby zipper, richards house, stop-n-pop, bone polisher, packin shack, weiner wrap, clap trap, camel toe, dildo hotel, axe gash, pearl hotel, sea food six pack, clam canal, coose canal, dick deposit, wand waxer, vidgie, erie canal, candy kiss, gauntlet, round mound of beehound,lick n' stick, lap flounder, tomahawk chop, chin-chin, pachinko, coontry pie, lip tip, the big casino, one eyed worm hole, amazon forest, cock cave, fark donut, coochie pop, babby, wet seal, pissy froth hole, bald biscuit,the unmentionable, mans ruin, peeshie, hairy potter, courtney cocksleve, panty hamster,deep pink, jaws of life, gizmo, faith, cock magnet, slippery slide, Meat tunnel, pink heaven, squid, dick basket, hot spot, poochika, pudding, bowl, love cave, squeeze-box, quim, honey pot, the bone collector, goodie basket, depository, pink turtleneck, bread-box, little debbie, pole hole, pandora's box,snail tracker, coontzilla, homebase, pud pocket, bear trap, indian bones and the temple of poon, chanch, big montana, noochie, choot, golden valley, nappy roots, dick mitten, mystical fold ... and so there it is.

Foods That Fight Bad Breath

1. Chew on this. Move over parsley, there are some new halitosis-fighting herbs in town. “Coriander, spearmint, tarragon, eucalyptus, rosemary and cardamom are all good for fighting bad breath,” says Dr. Christine Gerbstadt, who has lectured on oral health. You can chew on fresh herbs or make tonics by steeping them in hot water (as a tea). These herbs make an excellent digestive as well—doubling the benefits of ending a meal this way.
2. Get some active culture. No, not Cirque du Soleil, but yogurt. A recent study found that a serving of yogurt each day reduces the level of odor-causing hydrogen sulfide in the mouth. Apparently it also cuts back on bacteria in the mouth—plaque and gum disease were reduced in the study’s yogurt eaters as well. Plus, the American Dietetic Association (ADA) recommends getting enough vitamin D from yogurt, cheese and milk if you’re worried about halitosis because this vitamin creates an inhospitable environment for bacteria growth. Be sure to get the kind of yogurt with active cultures—not overly processed or sugar-added varieties.
3. Crunchy types. Apples, carrots, celery—basically any fiber-rich fruit or vegetable is your friend when it comes to fighting halitosis. “Inside your mouth, plaque build-up causes odors,” explains Cynthia Sass, ADA spokeswoman and registered dietician. “Eating foods that increase saliva production keep the mouth moist—and rinsed out. Also, many carbs and proteins can get stuck in your teeth—even healthy foods like whole grain cereal or chicken breast.” So follow a meal with a Granny Smith (feel the saliva kick in at the mention of it?) to cleanse the mouth.
4. Masking techniques. Sugarless gum shouldn’t replace brushing your teeth after a meal, but in a pinch it can freshen breath (masking odors) and is another way to increase saliva production to rinse away plaque and bacteria. Mints can mask as well, but only briefly—and go for sugarless. Sugar creates plaque, and no one wants a mint that makes breath worse.
5. High C’s. Eating berries, citrus fruits, melons and other vitamin C-rich foods create an inhospitable environment for bacteria growth. A diet rich in vitamin C is also is important for preventing gum disease and gingivitis—both major causes of halitosis. Get your C in foods, not supplements, which can cause gastrointestinal upset in some, according to Sass, and exacerbate bad breath.

30 More Interesting Factiods

1. A rat can last longer without water than a camel.
2. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.
3. The dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle.
4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
5. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
6. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
7. A 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2″ by 3-1/2″.
8. During the chariot scene in “Ben Hur,” a small red car can be seen in the distance (and Heston’s wearing a watch).
9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily!
10. Sherlock Holmes NEVER said, “Elementary, my dear Watson.”
11. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
12. The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.
13. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and silver.
14. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them.
15. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
16. Weatherman Willard Scott was the first Ronald McDonald.
17. If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.
18. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w film down so you could see his moves.
19. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA.”
20. The original name for butterfly was flutterby.
21. The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
22. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
23. Roses may be red, but violets are indeed violet.
24. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.
25. Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
26. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.
27. An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than three steps backwards while dancing!
28. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries.
29. The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.
30. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!

Just 55 Random Facts

1. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
2. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
3. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
4. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
5. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
6. There are more chickens than people in the world.
7. 2/3 of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
8. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
9. On a Canadian 2 dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.
10. All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
11. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
12. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."
13. All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5.00 bill.
14. Almonds are a member of the peach family.
15. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
16. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
17. There are only 4 words in the English language which end in "dous":tremendous,horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
18. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
19. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
20. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
21. In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
22. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
23. The characters Bert & Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life."
24. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
25. A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds.
26. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
27. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. (DON'T try this at work!)
28. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
29. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
30. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
31. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister. (Presbyterian)
32. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
33. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
34. The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.
35. A cockroach can live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
36. A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.
37. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
38. More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
39. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
40. Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump."
41. Marilyn Monroe had 6 toes on one foot.
42. If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white..
43. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
44. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
45. The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.
46. The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start.
47. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
48. The words racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.
49. A snail can sleep for 3 years.
50. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
51. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. (Does that one really surprise any of us?)
52. Vatican City is the smallest country in the world with a population of 1000 & a size of 108.7 acres.
53. "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
54. No president of the United states was an only child.
55. And last and definitely most important: The average chocolate bar has 8 insects' legs in it.

Cool Trick to Make Cold Soda!

Chill A Coke In 2 Minutes! - Click here for funny video clips