Dr. Suess Gets Juiced

A little bit of a dated topic but found this funny Suessical on Fark.
Imagine the TV coverage if OJ had recited this!

I did not kill my lovely wife.
I did not slash her with a knife.
I did not bonk her in the head.
I did not know that she was dead.

When I came home I had a gash.
My hand was gashed from broken glass.
I cut my hand upon a glass.
A broken glass did cause that gash.

My friend, he took me for a ride.
All through L.A., from side to side.
From North to South, we took a ride.
But from the cops, I could not hide.

And now we've been here for a year.
A year! A year! Just sitting here!
The DNA, the hem and haw.
The circus-hype the viewers saw.
A year! A year! Just sitting here!
And lawyers change by the hour, I fear.

If I'm found "Guilty" I'll appeal.
Appeal! Appeal! I will appeal!
I'll wheedle and whine; I'll cut a deal!
If it's "Not Guilty," so glad I'll feel!

**then this little ditty suggested by OJ's statement to Judge Ito that he could not, would not, kill Nicole and Ron. Ito's lines are in capital letters...**

DID YOU DO THIS AWFUL CRIME?
DID YOU DO IT ANYTIME?

I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, anytime.

DID YOU TAKE THIS PERSON'S LIFE?
DID YOU DO IT WITH A KNIFE?

I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not, kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, anytime.

DID YOU LEAVE A POOL OF BLOOD?
DID YOU DROP THIS BLOODY GLOVE?

I did not leave a pool of blood.
I cannot even wear that glove.
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not, kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not anytime.
I did not do it, so I say.
It's not my blood or DNA.

Brian Peppers - The Next All Your Base?

Can an odd looking sex offender from Ohio be the next big thing in internet phenomena?

Peppers was sentenced to 30 days in jail with 5 years probation thereafter in 1998 for the crime of "Gross Sexual Imposition"^[3]. Gross Sexual Imposition is defined as^[4] unwilling sexual contact with one who is not one's spouse.

It was said on a YTMND that he was sentenced for allegedly groping a nurse, but he was really just trying to get her attention. Whether this letter is completely true or not is yet to be known, but many people believe it to be true.

Now this is kinda' ridiculous, why is this guy being called a sex offender at all? That nurse must be a full-out twit to think he could even go through the motions of trying to sexually offend her pimply ugly fat ass. Isn't he like all wheelchair bound? It makes perfect sense that he was trying to get the nurse's attention by pulling at her skirt, he's so close to the floor, duh!

Clear the Pepper! Clear the Pepper!

Take this poor soul off the sexual offenders list! He doesn't deserve it, it probably kills him to be on this list, and then on top of all that, he has to deal with the way he looks on a daily basis. How well would you fare with his appearance? I know I wouldn't fare well at all.

However, I find the Photoshopped images kinda' amusing. Brian, if you are reading this, don't be insulted by the altered images, think of it like a Friars Club Roast. If you get pranked on, it's a sign of respect. Although you didn't ask to be so popular on the internet, I think you should just go with the flow because there probably isn't a way to stop this sort of thing.

I think Brian could make a mint if he opened a cafepress store and sold autographed merchandise using the Photoshopped images. I mean afterall, it is obviously him, so no copyright infringements there. His appearance is shocking, but he is unique, and that could mean cashola. Brian go for it! I'll be waiting for a Pepper Mug before I drink my next cup of java! Here's my fave ...

Click here for a Googling of the Image kind ...

For those that don't know what the "All Your Base" reference is about, well here is a link to one of the most popular internet meme ever. Don't worry if you don't get it at first, however I do suggest some further reading at Engrish.Com if you can't grasp the All Your Base craze.

All Your Base Are Belong To Us!

Click here to see Brian and All Your Base Fight it out @ GoogleFight!

Subway @ Walmart Sucks

I can't vouch for every Subway Sandwich installment across the plethora of Walmart slave camps, however, the one in Route 46 Saddlebrook, NJ needs a serious revamping. I was feeling a wee bit peckish and decided to get one of my favorite sandwiches at my favorite sandwich shop. So I walk in there and the place is like an afterthought to the store's overall design. It's narrow, like a closet almost. Unlike the regular franchise sites, this place is cramped and they still managed to fit a few tables in there! How can one eat a footlong sub with some guy waiting in line shoving his ass in your face! But anyway, I was getting the sandwich to go. Nothing looked fresh whatsoever, so I decided to go through with it anyway, I figure if a business screws me over once, they have lost my patronism forever. No second chances, I just don't have the time and there are plenty of other places to go to eat. The sandwich was the Lime Chicken sub, very tasty if done right. I asked for spinach on it, I got spinach that was wilted. I was asked if the amount of chicken was enough and I said "Well, it could use more." So the guy pours on another tray of chicken, but failed to notify me that it would cost me another $1.50. Now that's another gripe I have with them. Walmart is supposed to be the lowest prices anwhere store, right? Well then why is the Subway there charging about $1.35 more for the sandwiches? Especially when the service and accomodations aren't up to speed with what a franchise store offers. I was really put off by the seemingly "not-so-fresh" ingredients they were using. I'll stick to the franchise Subway Shops from now on.

Counterfeit Windows XP Nag Prompt Fixed

Getting NAG prompts to make your copy of XP Genuine?

Following the download and installation of the “Windows Genuine Advantage Notifications” tool, users of counterfeit Windows XP will see alerts at startup, login and during their use of the operating system.

The alerts read: “This copy of Windows is not genuine; you may be a victim of software counterfeiting.” The alerts aren't really that obtrusive, however who wants it there if it doesn't need to be there, true? So follow the instructions below to get rid of it:

1. Boot or restart your computer, as soon as the WindowsXP startup logo appears >
   Press the F8 key.
2. A text menu will appear. Choose SAFE MODE, then press ENTER
3. You Cannot use Safe Mode with Networking, so PRINT this page before you start.
   
4. You will need to click-away the nag screen that appears, then click your Username and enter your password (if there is one) as usual.
5. You could use My Computer to find these files and delete or rename them, however, in Safe Mode your screen resolution is so small that it is easier to use the Command Line Interface.
   
6. Once your desktop appears, click Start > Run
   
7. Type cmd to open a command-line window
8. Type cd c:\windows\system32 then press ENTER
   
9. Type del wgatray.exe then press ENTER
10. Type cd dllcache then press ENTER
11. Type del wgatray.exe then press ENTER

Ok, so the wgatray.exe files is now deleted from the system32 and dllcache folders.

1. Type regedit then press ENTER
2. The Registry Editor opens, you may have to move some windows around but don't close any yet.
3. You need to traverse the registry just like you would folders in Windows Explorer.
   
4. Click on each plus sign to expand the trees as follows:

• HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE
• SOFTWARE
• Microsoft
• WindowsNT
• CurrentVersion
• Winlogon
• Notify

In the Notify folder there is a folder called WgaLogon, right click it and click DELETE. It will most likely return when you reboot, however it will not contain the stuff we do not want.


Switch back to the command-line window and type the following:

1. Type rename wgalogon.dll wgalogon.dll.old then press ENTER
   
2. Type cd then a space then two dots .. then press ENTER
   
3. Type rename wgalogon.dll wgalogon.dll.old then press ENTER
4. Type exit
5. The command-line window closes
   

We simply renamed wgalogon.dll to wgalogon.dll.old in the system32 and dllcache folders.

Now reboot. See? No More Nagging Prompts to get Genuine.

If you receive Automatic Updates, make sure to use Custom Install option so you can choose which updates to install, don't install anything regarding Genuine Advantage Tool! Because it will probably be downloaded once again, however, you can uncheck it and still get the updates you need. Now click some advertising links so I can make 2 cents. Thanks.